17 December 2008
Now My Boss Knows
I finally did it. I finally told my boss I have rapid cycling Bipolar Disorder. This was absolutely not something I wanted him to know, nor did I think he needed to know. Which is why I hadn't told him until the radio fiasco.
I tried to work with the radio playing. Really, I did. It wasn't in an area that I work in so I thought it was ok to let them play it there. I told the boss that if they wanted to play it wherever I'm not, then that's ok. Except I could hear it every time I needed to go to the big cooler, or the washroom, or to the oil tote, or to the ovens. Or anytime I needed to leave my area. It drove me absolutely bonkers. I was getting physically sick at the idea of even going in to work and potentially hearing the radio playing. And just to be clear, it's not just the music, it's the sound of voices coming from the radio. I hate listening to an announcer's voice which is why I never play a radio in my house or car. Ever. The only exception was a radio website S introduced me to but even the 15 second commercials every third song turned me off. And the alarm in my bedroom is tuned to a radio station but it's always a song at 4am.
Anyway. I talked to S about my trip to bonkerville and the radio. He said to try to tough it out. They are playing it loud on purpose (oh yeah, the music would get louder as the day progressed. I still couldn't hear it in my area but it was overwhelming everywhere else) and they would eventually get tired of shouting at each other. Probably true. But I was at the quitting point again. You know - where you ponder simply walking away from your job and never have it appear on your resume. I called S at work again and asked if telling the boss about the Bipolar Disorder was even a good idea. He said it's better for bosses to have all the information they need. If the radio is that bothersome and it can be related to a mental illness, it's ok info.
Then I went into the boss's office, closed the door, and told him about how I manage the Bipolar Disorder with music. And how some music or radios make me very very angry. And that their privilage to listen to a radio does not supercede my right to a peaceful work environment. I told him I thought I could handle it but I was wrong. I also asked him to keep this information private as I didn't need the whole plant knowing about me having BD (and yet I'm blogging publicly about it.....). He said he'd keep it private, but by the way the big boss has been looking at me and the tone of voice he's been using, he knows as well. At least now there is no more radio playing at work.
But now I have two passive-aggressive women angry with me. So far they've been ok, pleasant on the surface anyway. But from the way they used to talk to me about others I know I've become their common enemy. I'd like to think these two women would benefit from an explanation of BD and that it would help them understand that this whole thing isn't personal. But they are more the type to classify me as the crazy old biddy instead. So I'll just keep my guard up for a while and do my best during every Up to remember they are not my friends, no matter how sticky sweet they are to me.