30 October 2009

Halloween is coming

Halloween is almost here once again. I liked dressing up and especially liked the free candy idea...but I really wasn't wild on the idea of taking kids out trick or treating in snow and cold. Really, not my thing at all. All these TV shows of children dressed in their costumes in the warm evening did not take place up in Northern Canada. Here the costumes need to fit for school, and then need to fit over a snowsuit for trick or treating. A newish thing here is that children go to the malls to trick or treat as well as or instead of outside. Partially because it's warm inside a mall, and partially because parents are worried their children aren't safe outside, in the dark, and twenty feet away. Really, who would take/harm a child who's parents are nearby? And why would you send your little one out without you? I just don't see the danger if your child is accompanied by an adult.

One thing I did learn to do while taking my boys out was carry backpacks (one for each boy, Heaven forbid their candy got mixed up) and have them empty their candy into them about every block or so. That way their bags didn't get too full for them to lug around, and I was tailing them anyway so why not help out by carrying (eating) the candy? But then about two or three years ago I decided they were old enough to go out with their group of friends instead of with me and stay in the neighborhood. I figured they were in a group so there was less chance of them getting abducted and they knew the neighborhood well so they wouldn't get lost. But because I wasn't tailing them they had nowhere to empty the candy bags, so I got a call asking me to tail them in the car. I thought 'Really? I get to be the parent in the warm car? Awesome!'. It was a feast of candy in the car that night. Some of it would have melted so it had to be eaten right away. Really, it did. I had to rescue the chocolate and send it to safety in my tummy.

This year the boys haven't made plans for candy acquirement. T has a girlfriend and at 15 is too damn old to go out. As far as I know he has no plans for partying either. Thankfully he's a bit tame that way. So far. J has made vague plans of scaring little kids but I don't know if that will actually happen. His plans change rather abruptly most of the time, it's hard to keep up to knowing what he's up to.

T also didn't dress up for Halloween, instead he came home from school at lunch after being sick in the washroom. Poor boy. He at a banana muffin when he got home (after realizing that taking his house key out of his pocket this morning was perhaps a bad idea...luckily I was leaving work in five minutes anyway so he wasn't outside long) and is planning on calling in sick to work tomorrow. J did dress up for Halloween - as a plumber. Ok, he bought the costume at San Francisco in the mall as a last-minute idea. He called to get it approved and I didn't see a problem with it, although I couldn't figure out why he'd want to be a boring plumber. When he got home he showed me the costume which is a ball cap with 'plumber' on it and a shirt with two name tags over the breast pockets. One says 'plumber C. Bigby Hines' and the other says 'check out my caulk'. I was expecting a call from the school for inappropriateness. Nothing yet. Maybe there's an email waiting for me.

The last minute costume, while typical of J changing his mind, was because he'd bought an Obama mask the day before on his lunch hour. He showed a teacher who thought it was cool and then reminded him that the school doesn't allow masks. So J, S, and I discussed costume ideas and came up with: get some large black helmet for his head and dress in black to be a StickDude (J is stick-like in stature), businessman with bombs in the briefcase, drug dealer in a long coat with baggies of sugar pinned to the inside, suicide bomber with bombs on his torso, breathalyzer machine with the 'blow here' area at the...well, you know, army Sgt named F*ck You or Screw You, a giant screw with his friend being a giant U, dress as his principal with a name tag and run around yelling at students to get to his office, and my favorite....wear white pants and a white shirt under a white garbage bag filled with garbage to be....White Trash! That last one was the cause of serious belly laughs when J tried on a garbage bag. It fit but was very tight. Too tight. Hysterical laughter tight. Two garbage bags taped together was better, but posed the problem of how do you use the washroom and not destroy the costume? Since most of those ideas would be rejected by the school, he ended up at the mall. It was really difficult to come up with tame ideas once I started thinking of inappropriate ideas. My favorite costumes that I've seen online are this one, and this one (warning: not safe for work, involves male anatomy). I didn't suggest those. But when I need to giggle hysterically I think of that second one...about how it would bob and wiggle when you walk...


Miz Kizzle said...

Suicide bomber or drug dealer. That's a tough decision. I'm sure the administrators at his school would appreciate the humor in either one of those choices.

Miz Kizzle said...

Oh! I know! He can go as a school shooter! How funny would that be? Long black trenchcoat, a couple of plastic rifles and a list of names of kids and teachers on his "hit list." Hahahahaha!

Robin said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOL - school shooter!!!