24 December 2009

Christmas is here

Merry Christmas to everybody, or Happy Holidays, or Celebrate Solstice, or Happy Hanukkah, or whatever.

This year the season is rippled with stress so it's difficult to get in the mood. It's been a very difficult year especially the last two months, so I'm hoping 2010 will be better. I'm starting to suspect any light at the end of the tunnel is a train. I don't want to ask how things could get worse. The Universe will gladly show me if given the opportunity.

Stress aside, I'm doing an amazing job at not eating chocolate. It's been five weeks now and I haven't had a single morsel of chocolate. When people brought baking to work for the holidays I picked through and only took squares with no chocolate at all. When S's boss gave him a box of Purdy's chocolates as a gift I pulled the box to me and examined all of them. I looked at the 'map' to see which ones were included in the box and thought of which ones would be my favorite. I could easily imagine what they tasted like so it was surprisingly easy to not eat them.

I also received a box of chocolates from Owner at work. She gave out two kinds
: one in a cloth bag (feels like silk, probably polyester) and one in an average paper bag. I got the cloth bag kind. They are the finest chocolates I'd ever seen with an amazing attention to detail. Kinda reminded me of our cakes :) I also checked the ingredient list and found it very clean with almost no additives, preservatives, or chemical-sounding names of stuff. Again, like our cakes. I didn't eat any of those chocolates either. Well, I cut open the mandarin orange and ginger one and scooped out the cream inside and threw away the outer chocolate shell. How odd of me. I am amazed at how firm I am in my mind to not eat chocolate. I think about it every day but I haven't given in.

One thing I've noticed is that I used to eat chocolate until my stomach hurt (and that took a lot of chocolate) but I can't eat other desserts in the same way. I had some lemon bars at work, but only a couple. I could've eaten a whole tray of chocolate ones. Or cookies. I bought some almond cookies and some ginger cinnamon cookies and I only have three or four a day. I could eat a whole bag of chocolate chip cookies in one sitting. For some reason chocolate interrupts the "I'm full" message from my stomach to my brain enabling me to eat huge amounts at a time. I remember even being so full my stomach hurt and still eating chocolate...and the chocolate made the tummy ache go away. Weird.

Tomorrow is gift opening and there are only four presents under my tree, one for each of us. I actually stayed on budget with gifts this year. Normally I whip out the credit cards and think about it later. But this year I was pretty good. Credit cards did get used but a payment was made ASAP so it was like cash. My gift is big and heavy...not that I've been lifting it or anything...just moving it a little...

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