23 October 2011

Baby factory: closed

Well, it's been decided. I'll be having a hysterectomy this January because of the fibroids. I got in to see the gynecologist a few months early (I got someone's cancellation appointment) and she said the fibroids weren't too big yet. But when she checked the size of my uterus she said it was too big for the measurements she was given. So she said to come back in a few months after having a second ultrasound to check the growth of the tumors. If they grew then surgery would be more of an option but she wasn't convinced then that surgery was necessary - the benefits didn't outweigh the risks she thought. 


I had the second ultrasound and went back to the gynecologist last week. The fibroids hadn't grown much but I told her that my period was like having someone turn on a faucet from my uterus. I want to go to school for Database Analyst but can't imagine sitting in a classroom and having to leave every 45 minutes or so to clean up. And when I would get to the washroom and sit down, it was just pouring out of me :( TMI? Sorry, but true. There is a lot of heavy lifting I do at work which just makes the flow worse, if that's even possible. The pain was becoming intense as well. I told the doctor that I was seeing black spots at work and realized I was holding my breath through the pain after taking both Midol and Advil. She asked me then if I'd like surgery. Um, yeah, that was my original thinking on the matter. 


She booked the surgery for 16Jan2012 which surprised me. Everyone around was telling me that the wait was a minimum of 12 months. Either mine is more urgent or the doctor had the time to fill, either way it'll be done way sooner than I had planned.


Now that I know the date I went to my boss and told him that I'd be off for about six weeks and why. He was thrown for a bit of a loop because I don't take time off work even for holidays and nobody is really trained for my job. Ok, there's one woman but she's slow and lazy, more of an emergency filler for me when necessary. I told my boss that I would train whoever he chose whenever he chose. Two other women at work had surgery - one hysterectomy one double hip replacement - and both went on short term disability for the recovery time. After talking to my boss I went to the CFO and requested the forms so I could get everything ready. I'd rather have it set up to begin when I'm off instead of having the claim back dated.


The woman at work who had the hysterectomy said six weeks is ridiculous. She ended up taking three months off and felt like an 80 year old woman when she returned to work. I had a feeling that might be the case. I had a C-section with my first son and remember the overwhelming exhaustion that followed. I remember almost crying at the thought of going up two shallow steps to get into my house, my legs simply couldn't use stairs. I remember the agony of every cough, sneeze and laugh, how it felt like I was being torn in two. I remember being aware for the very first time how much your stomach muscles are used in everyday tasks. I remember it took me a year to get back up to the walking speed I was at before the surgery.


The thought of the doctor going in through my C-section scar hurts already. The hysterectomy can't be done vaginally as the uterus is too big so she'll have to go through the stomach. I ache at the very idea of it. As much as I want the surgery, I would rather skip the recovery time. At least I have the motivation to get more exercise before the surgery and do what I can to work out the stomach muscles. The healthier I am going into the surgery the better it will be during recovery. Hopefully.

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