Some time ago I was looking for the plastic wrap and couldn't find it anywhere. When I went into J's room to get the laundry I saw it on the floor.
Me: Why is the plastic wrap in your room?
J: For the bodies. (he'd recently binged Dexter)
Me: There are no bodies in your room.
J: Because I had the plastic wrap.
I have a new car and the gear shifter is on the floor instead of on the steering column like my old car. I keep grabbing at space to move my car into gear. S noticed this.
S: Maybe I should put something here for you to grab until you remember where the shifter is (motioning towards the steering column). Oh! Like a bean! (my nickname is Bean).
Me: Sooo....I can stroke my bean every time I get in the car?
It took a second, but S laughed hard.
Yes, I'm looking for a new job. I don't much like where I work. As I scroll through many, many ads I wonder: how can the position be called 'entry level' if it requires two years' experience or a bachelor's degree?
There is a person at work that seems to enjoy mentioning that she doesn't have to work. That her insurance payout from some car accident is hefty enough that she only works to have something to do. Shut the fuck up. Nobody who has to work for money needs to or wants to hear about how you don't have to.
J (who is 18) was vaping some herbals but didn't feel the effects right away. So he elected to smoke some more herbals in the more habitual fashion. A little bit later...o.O...higher than he's ever been. He told me he sat in front of his monitor for (what felt like) an hour because he couldn't remember what he was going to Google. When he finally did type something into the search bar it was "do eyeballs have feelings" because his eyeballs felt happy.
I'm on level 1039 of Candy Crush. Clearly, I have no life.
J's phone wasn't working. For some reason after a software update he was unable to send or receive texts while away from home. His data also wasn't working, although the two shouldn't be related. J, as you may remember, has anxiety issues when leaving the house. T heard about J's phone problem and responded with: So your phone has a comfort zone too?